My Eyes

I used to feel real good looking as a youth. Then life happened to me and I started to see myself in a different light. As I started staying up late and abusing my body, I wasn’t too proud of myself. My eyes started to get bags under them and they never seemed to be the same again. As I started to do heavier drugs, I started to see myself in a worse way. At one point I was ashamed of who I had become. I was ashamed that both my eyes seemed different. I don’t know if I ever noticed that they were different, but now I had made up my mind that they were because I could see them. I spent many years trying to hide and still hated myself. As time went on I told myself stories that I was like I am because of my genes and because of the drugs that I had done. As I got older some days I learned to love my life and to just live it. Other days I wished that I was somewhere else. As I shut myself from everyone I became more strange. As I went on from losing relation to relation still with no change. I humbled myself and looked back from where I have come. Even though it wasn’t a pretty road, I had to accept it. Most importantly,  I had to accept who I was. When I did that, I was able to change. I opened up my heart and started to sow love. Love within myself, love for God. I started to accept my two different eyes and everything having to do with them and myself. Today I am writing this with a different heart. It may seem different, but it’s the same heart I have always had. The same eyes that God has blessed me with. And the same body that I am still in. Though I have been through rough times and I seem different, I am still somehow the same. I am no longer ashamed.

2 iLL.

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